I AM NOT DOMESTICATED!
This morning I left a bowl in the sink before leaving for work. Upon returning home, my wife voiced her displeasure about me, once again, not washing my dishes before leaving the house. I DO NOT WASH DISHES! I will mow the lawn (okay, I’ll have the landscaper cut it), I will water the grass, clean out the garage, or move furniture. However, since the dishes are in the kitchen and she is the one who does all of the cooking and grocery shopping, I feel that the dishes are her responsibility. I know this way of thinking is wrong and very sexist, but I refuse to wash dishes. Before my wife and I got married, I had to cook for myself, wash my own clothes, and yes, wash dishes. But since we got married, I have removed that item from my chore list and have left the honors to my wife, along with cleaning, vacuuming, dusting, laundry, ironing. I am trying to do better, but I have to admit, I have a loooooooong way to go!
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Haha I def do not fully agree with your post but at least you are admitting that youy are not domesticated. LOL. The rule in my house is if you cook the other person cleans and if you use a dish you have to rinse and put it in the dishwasher. No piling up dishes in the sink. If the dishwasher is clean, then you empty it. Now for me, I feel like I am forever doing dishes. I dont cook. I dont like it and I dont know how so I am always doing dishes. I actually enjoy it. I know alot of guys however who say women cook and they always do the dishes and that is their job. Kinda like mowing the lawn. Do you really think that it is that bad??
ReplyDeleteShawn,
ReplyDeleteKudos to you for being so honest and admitting that you have a loooong way to go. Many of us are just as guilty of gender stereotyping especially on the domestic front. When my children were young, I was a stay at home mom who did all of the housework while taking care of the children. My husband was the sole breadwinner. The one difference is that I hated housework and would rather work in the yard....including the mowing. Growing up my parents didn’t pigeonhole me and my siblings into gender-specific roles so I do find it interesting that when I married I put myself there. In my present job, I travel about 50% of the time so my husband has had to step up and become ‘domesticated’ as you say. The funny thing is that it surprised him how much he doesn’t hate cooking and doing other chores around the house. You may be surprise too so open yourself up to the possibility.
I’m glad to hear that you are aware that cleaning up after yourself is your job even though that it’s a hard habit to get out of when we get used to someone else doing things for us. Once we fall into our gender roles and we get comfortable there it’s easy to stay in. Even though the dishes is your wife’s chore, and maybe she’s ok with that, it would probably bother you if she was always in the tool shed taking things to garden with and always leaving them on the ground, or outside to rust. Even though the ‘man’ jobs are yours, she should still clean up after herself. The same concept applies to everyone, except for those of us who don’t bother with such technicalities. I myself am used to leaving my clothes on the floor till I can’t see the color of my carpet. We all have a long way to go, but the first step is to acknowledge it. :-)
ReplyDeleteI have to say that I am a bit surprised by your post. I mean, it is good that you are being honest--but this doesn't seem like the makings of a very fair or equal relationship. Chores like washing dishes and cleaning the house are daily activities that have to get done. I'm sure you don't water the grass or move furniture everyday. People have to contribute equally to make a fair and fulfilling relationship. No one like doing the dishes, but they need to get done--to make it easier you two should switch off on the chores. For instance, if she cooks then you do the dishes; if you cook, then she can do the dishes. This makes everything easier for everyone.
ReplyDeleteShawn,I understand where you’re coming from. One of the things I look forward to the most about getting marry is car maintain and any other “manly duties” that deals with tools getting off my plate. I tried putting up curtains the other day and instead managed to drill a bunch of holes in the wall, and still no curtains are up. I have a few picture frames I need to put up, but since it involves a hammer, I am completely dreading it. Granted, anyone can do this chores, it doesn’t take a man, and thus far I’ve been doing them myself. But as soon as I get the opportunity to push these tasks on the next guy, I will so without caring.
ReplyDelete